him: i got your voicemail..something about buying shoes?
me: oh yeah, i was having slight buyer's remorse. but i kept them.
him: oh, were they expensive or something?
me: yeah...well kinda.
him: yeah, this is probably never going to work for us.
me: no..noo...they're amazing with a major heel.
him: and didn't they come with a mail-in rebate for a kitchen counter? pool table?
me: yes...kitchen counter.
him: then i'm glad you kept them.
muahahaha..ya'll have no idea, but we know...and it's the best kept secret ever. period.
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