To: amorganmiller@yahoo.com
From: SA@[RedactedCompany].com
Date: Sunday, August 23, 2009
Subject: You have a phone. It's free for you. Use it.

dearest dahling,

i'm so glad you finally cleared out your mailbox. per usual, i left you a message and still no response. i've texted you, facebook stalked you and e-mailed you. we even drunk dialed you during RF's birthday festivities. and in our most blackout state, knew you wouldn't answer. anywho, get in touch with a sistah. BIG NEWS. (and no, i'm not engaged or pregnant. although, thanks to facebook, you would've already found that out anyways.)

1 x and 1 0,

s.

Next time, S, just call me on the 'ole land line. M&D seem to enjoy taking my messages, like a free Personal Assistant or something. oh, and the big news? i already know. FROM FACEBOOK. PHOTOS TAGGED OF YOU. RF'S PARTY. THE BOY. HE'S HOT. and is that dress Tibi? I. Die.